Alphabetti poopghetti

I like to think of myself as a mover and shaker in the world of animal welfare and as such support the rescue and rehome approach to acquiring a pet rather than the short-sighted and ridiculous ‘oh we thought we’d let her have a litter of puppies/kittens/tadpoles because it’s good for her’ attitude of some irresponsible animal owners. Part of that process includes introducing the animals being prepared for rehoming, to the different members of society that they may well meet in their new lives. This includes……….(imagine sinister music, slowly building to a crescendo in a horror file styleeeee)…..children. Gulp. Despite potentially having been through traumatic circumstances, dogs and cats (and especially goldfish and tortoises) need to meet ……….children. Twice, Gulp. So, having two of the little ragamuffins myself, I happily offer their services to help introduce our furry friends to the squealing, whirling, tornados that are……..children. Thrice, Gulp.

Today’s beautiful participant was a young mastiff cross (A.K.A. gurt big woofer), who wasn’t so keen on the grown up demographic of the population but had seemed interested when viewing some kids playing on a recent walk. LooBoo decided that she would draw a picture of the aforementioned mastiff so that she would know her better when she met her.

I was slightly concerned when she asked me how many legs LittleBigWoof would have, but nothing really prepared me for this. Clearly the crossbreed mixture is quarter mastiff, quarter mouse, quarter sparrow’s-legs and quarter Adam Ant’s make-up artist. Or maybe Adam Ant himself. Who knows. LittleBigWoof’s tail is growing out of her hind leg and she has just pooped a lower case ‘L’ onto the floor. Alphabetti poopghetti. Not only that but she has the hair of a princess, albeit a straggly princess. And no collar with her contact number which is, of course, a little bit illegal in the UK but artistic licence and all that. And look at that big smile. This is clearly not a woof with issues but a mellow, calm, serene kind of woof that will fetch your slippers and pipe, and lie on the floor gazing adoringly up at you while you whittle a piece of wood into a scale replica of an internal combustion engine, or knock up a pair of complex Fair Isle knee-high socks using sixteen-thousand double pointed knitting needles.

Suffice to say that the meeting actually went incredibly well and LittleBigWoof has been declared ‘child friendly’ though apparently she wouldn’t be encouraged to eat a whole one in one go. And LooBoo has been commissioned to do some Picasso style tattoo designs so it’s a big win-win-win all ‘round. The moral of the story? Adopt, don’t shop.

About the Author

Magickal Beanist, busy mummy, committed vegan, ardent recycler, obsessive knitter, recent jogger, animal lover, Cotswold dweller, ridiculous writer, attempts to live a conscious, magickal life by design. Enjoys a large glass of bubbly stuff at the weekend. And I'm not talking about washing up liquid if you know what I mean. Contact me through the website. Your reward will be good karma and a friend for life ;o)

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